I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
