2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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