Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
