U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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