Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
