and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
