I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize