just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
