I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
