My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
