Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
