And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
