there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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