too bad you live with your parents still
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize