I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
