i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
