turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
