therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
