thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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