fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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