Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
