I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
