we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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