so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
