If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
