You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
