i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
