oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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