love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
