chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Less talking, more tequila
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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