dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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