So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Couch. On fire.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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