how can u be prego again
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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