yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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