I just saw a hot homeless man
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
