just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
