I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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