as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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