I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
