he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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