I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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