Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
