She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
