my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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