There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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