doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
