Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
