I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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