Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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