So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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