i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize