Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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