I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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