i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
