I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
