i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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