The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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