drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
