i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
