I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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