Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
