Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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