The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
