oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
