So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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