and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
