Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
