what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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